“All I Ever Wanted to Be was a Milk and Cookie Grandma”

No one knew I love to write. It is my true purpose in life. I have always loved the written word, but I put it on the back-burner years ago. I had another plan that was not God’s plan. Dangerous ground to walk on my darlin’ ladies (and gents). I had a purpose without a plan. God was not in it. It quickly turned into an illusion and began fading out of sight.

Keep in mind, we mourn the past because the investment we made does not

 yield the return we expected.

Here are my faded, and renewed, dreams…may it create a fire in your soul to pick up the pieces of a broken dream and begin again. 

It is true, year after year, decade after decade my dream was to be a “milk and cookies grandma.” Even to the point of selling everything and relocating to be closer to the grandchildren.  It was my dream to be waiting at the bus stop every day with milk and cookies when they got off the bus. I wanted to love them, help them with their homework, and take them to ball practice. 

Nothing could stop me from wanting…waiting…wanting this “dream” to come true. Long-suffering and the eternal optimist, I ignored the signs and the apparent cracks forming in the foundation of my dream. No matter, it still came as a shock when I realized it was not to be.

Instead of the dream coming true, life happened. Jobs changed, and divorces occurred with spouses who took the children out of state. And that is the broad stroke of the tsunami that hit our family. The “dream” of being surrounded by grandchildren who lived close was rolling down the interstate. It had U-Haul written on the back of the truck. 

There is an old southern saying, “Don’t beat a dead horse.” I began to laugh when I thought of how many times I heard this growing up. My spirit lifted as I found humor in how I had “whooped” on that poor dead horse…for years. 

Another saying my good Episcopalian Grandmother would say to me is, “When God closes a door, He always opens a window. When He does Sug-ah, you be ready to fly.” 

When I thought of that wisdom, a fountain of excitement began to bubble up in my spirit. I remembered how she encouraged me to write. It took me back to a wonderful time and place when all things were fresh and new. When my cousin and I made frequent trips to the big house for a visit. The big house was where my Grandmother and Grandfather lived.

It had a huge magnolia tree in the front yard where my cousin and I spent hours climbing those big branches amid the huge magnolia blossoms. We would leave the big house surrounded by the aroma of those hardy but delicate flowers.

The big event was when Grandmother would fill two of her purses with candy, lipsticks, makeup, and little games. We could not wait to riffle through those purses discovering all the girlie treasures that were waiting on us! We always left happy, consuming the candy she had lovingly placed in those purses.

She put a five-dollar bill in there too. Our little hands would be busy racing to see who would find theirs first. I always found my money wrapped around a glitter pen. I have often thought these long years after, that it was her way of saying, “Virginia Mae, always remember to write.”  

A new life began to flow through my spirit as I recalled these times growing up. The happiness that occurred in my soul erupted into laughter.  Southern women don’t pull themselves up by the bootstraps, we learn to laugh as we “clean it up” to begin stronger than before. I had been sad for too long. It felt incredible to laugh again.

After prayer and a bit of contemplation, it became clear that I had found a new purpose. This time, the mission had a plan. With a keen desire, my grandmother’s encouragement, and a glitter pen, I began to write again. 

Now, I write about my deep south experiences and how they have fashioned me to become the southern lady I am today. And I would not trade it, or them, for all the brown sugar brownies and banana pudding I could eat. The memories mean all world to me…  

So, sugar-foot, do not give up on “all” your dreams, when one does not come true. No matter how much time and energy you put into it. If you look, you may find a hidden gem, a dream that is ready to be resurrected. 

And don’t kick up a fuss and act like a donkey when you do not get what you want! If you are blessed to live life, there will be many times you will need to course-correct yourself and go down a different path.

By the way, we do get to see and keep the grandchildren! I adore every moment with them. 

Oooh, I think I hear my sweet husband bringing me a fresh, steaming cup of coffee.  

He is going to get a big hug for sure!

 

Sinking into Pink Floral Pillows on My Chair with Glitter Pen in Hand,

Jinger, My Husband’s Queen